Archive for May, 2010

The Wedding Day Can Fly – So Savor The Wedding Planning Process

Wednesday, May 26th, 2010

Time does have a way of flying and when the wedding planning process is the focus for so long toward a much anticipated wedding day, it seems especially so!  When I meet with couples for the first time to begin planning their wedding ceremony, I always talk about how quickly their wedding day might seem to fly. The response is always "Everyone tells us that!"  My advice to them is this: hold the whole wedding planning process as part of the wedding itself as it is such precious time. 

Susanne7 The Wedding Day Can Fly So Savor The Wedding Planning ProcessEvery moment, every decision, every step of the way can be part of the memory-making. It is not just one day that is being created. It is a valuable process that culminates in that day. I am, of course, partial to the ceremony as that is the heart of the wedding day and it should really be the heart of the planning process as well.  As an officiant with Journeys of the Heart, I work with couples to create their own personal ceremony. As they create time to choose readings, or look over ritual ideas or create their vows, or make decisions about who will be involved in the ceremony, I encourage them to consider this planning time as "part" of the ceremony.  I suggest creating a 'date night' or an afternoon in the park or a quiet hour or two at home for those "parts" of the ceremony. This is time that can keep bringing them back to why they are creating this day as they move through their “to do” lists in the overall planning process. And certainly those lists are full of opportunities for creating special moments.  Choosing dresses with best friends, tasting the food at the venues, working through the invitation list with family members, finding colors and flowers… all memory-makers!  Couples who have intentionally held this perspective in the course of their wedding planning have told me that after their wedding day came and went, the looking back was not just to that day, but to the whole process!  Whether or not couples hold any traditional religious beliefs, carefully planning the ceremony is part of the mission of Journeys of the Heart.

As hard as I try in my own life to slow down time, I'm never very successful at it.  But I have learned… and have seen as couples go through their wedding planning process… that it's possible to stretch time a bit. Make something so very precious last much longer than just one day!

 

 


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Posted in Ask The Officiant, Non-denominational, Wedding Ceremonies, Wedding Officiant Tips, Wedding Planning, civil unions, commitment ceremonies | No Comments »

“The Conscious Bride” by Sheryl Paul

Friday, May 21st, 2010

The Conscious Bride by Sheryl Paulby Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer, Wedding officiant

Serving as a non-denominational wedding officiant, I am often asked by couples with whom I am working whether I have any recommendations for wedding-related books. There are so many new titles concerning weddings being published every month, from planners to etiquette books to books with tips on green, alternative or interfaith weddings, that just browsing on amazon can be an overwhelming experience. Here on our Journeys of the Heart officiant’s blog, I will share my favorite wedding book recommendations with you.

For all of the couples I work with—whether they are planning a traditional or ultra-contemporary wedding–I suggest picking up Sheryl Paul’s The Conscious Bride before any other book.

Paul’s book, unlike so many others on the market, helps a bride and groom or bride and bride explore their wedding from the inside out. It is a book about guiding couples through the wedding planning process with a consciousness about what they are feeling about the commitment of marriage. Paul examines the expectations around weddings—both the joy and excitement as well as the very normal, yet unexpected, feelings of doubt and loneliness that can occur for both partners as they plan for their big day. The Conscious Bride, while focusing on the woman’s journey, offers questions about the wedding and marriage to come that are helpful for both bride and groom to answer (I’ve also found that lesbian couples appreciate
The Conscious Bride ). Paul emphasizes that the path to creating the truly perfect day is through opening up to the engagement experience as a time for personal and spiritual growth.

It surely takes a whole lot of pressure off of everyone to realize that experiencing a range of emotions is normal for everyone going through the transition of being a single person to a married one.

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The Little Meeting House in Jenkintown, Abington Township

Friday, May 21st, 2010

The Little Meeting House in Abington Township has been restored to its former, understated Quaker splendor.  The congregation of Quakers who once met here in the 1600’s were a splinter sect of Abington Quaker Meeting (still in existence just down the road).  For years this little meeting house was referred to as “The Lost Meeting.”

0022 300x225 The Little Meeting House in Jenkintown, Abington Township0112 300x225 The Little Meeting House in Jenkintown, Abington Township

Many years of work and much money have gone into this restoration.  The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, through Representative Josh Shapiro, has been instrumental in grant money.  There have also been many workers, volunteer and hired.

The Little Meeting House became a project of the Abington Art Center which oversaw every aspect of the restoration.  Journeys of the Heart is a business member of the Abington Art Center, whose grounds also include Alverthorpe Manor.

The Little Meeting House will be an exquisite place for small weddings in daylight hours.  It will also be perfect for baby blessings, funerals and memorial services.

Some of these pictures were taken at the official housewarming on Thursday, May 20.  Others were taken when Diane Smith-Hoban, Journeys of the Heart administrator/officiant and I were given the privilege of a tour several weeks prior.

The Abington Art Center folks are very much looking forward to Journeys of the Heart celebrating all sorts of life occasions in this beautiful old setting.

013 225x300 The Little Meeting House in Jenkintown, Abington Township006 300x225 The Little Meeting House in Jenkintown, Abington Township025 300x216 The Little Meeting House in Jenkintown, Abington Township027 300x225 The Little Meeting House in Jenkintown, Abington Township


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Posted in Ceremony Venues, Wedding Ceremonies, Wedding Locations, Wedding Officiant Tips, baby blessing, funeral venue, memorial service venue | No Comments »

The Baby Blessing of Corina Marie Gutgesell

Tuesday, May 11th, 2010

Sunday May 2, 2010 was a very special day in the life of all who know and love Corina Marie Gutgesell.  That was the day of her baby blessing and naming ceremony.

0183 300x224 The Baby Blessing of Corina Marie GutgesellCorina's mom and dad, Greg and Tara were married by Marguerite Sexton and they waited some years before the birth of their beloved Corina Marie.  As Tara and Greg told the story at her blessing ceremony, Greg was ready for parenthood before Tara was and it took the birth of Corina's cousin for Tara to realize it was time for them to have a child of their own.

Friends and family gathered at Corina's home in Mount Airy on a beautiful, hot Sunday.  The home can easily be identified as Cornia's now, because we all know who it is that runs everything from the moment of birth.  So it is with the Gutgesell household.  It is happily at the whim of Corina who, by all accounts, is a wonderful and delightful baby.  Another part of a baby blessing ceremonies is the telling of the story of the baby's birth and her name.  Corina's name was inspired by the song Corina by Taj Mahal.

Corina's Godmother was her Aunt Erin and her Godfather was her Uncle Jeff.  Both read wonderful passages about their hopes for Corina.

Everyone present placed a flower petal in a bowl of water and silently offered a thought, prayer, hope or wish for Corina. 0201 150x150 The Baby Blessing of Corina Marie Gutgesell

The highlight of a baby blessing ceremony is telling the child her name.

Corina was told her name by her Uncle Colin who sang the song Corina to her.  As he sang, Corina, all of four months old, watched in delight and danced in her father's arms as she listened to her song.  She enchanted everyone present.

As Corina was hearing the song of her name, I carried the bowl of flower water around the room and sprinkled everyone with it, as it contained all the love, hope and prayers of everyone there.

012 300x225 The Baby Blessing of Corina Marie Gutgesell

Corina was anointed with oil by her parents, godparents, aunt and uncle and grandparents, through the touching of her eyes, heart, ears, hands and feet.

Here is the passage that was read to remind everyone that Corina will have both roots and wings as she grows:

There are many paths, and each must find their own; therefore, we do not seek to bind Corina to any one path while she is still too young to choose; rather do we ask that Corina be blessed and protected and prepared through the years of childhood so that when at last she is truly grown, she may know without doubt or fear which path is hers and shall tread it gladly.

This new child has come into the world.  She is a gift of hope and of promise not only to those of us here today, but also to all of those whose lives she will touch in the future.  We rejoice for Corina, her parents, her grandparents, godparents, and for all of us who will assuredly be enriched by her presence among us.

Welcome to the world Corina Marie.  My prayer would be that every child would be surrounded by the wonderful, conscious, loving and funny parents that you have.  They have been so blessed by your birth, but you were sure smart to choose them!

021 225x300 The Baby Blessing of Corina Marie Gutgesell


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The Equality Forum Dinner – 2010

Thursday, May 6th, 2010

001 300x225 The Equality Forum Dinner 2010 Saturday night, May 1, was the Equality Forum Dinner at the National Constitution Center.  Journeys of the Heart was well represented there by Officiant/Administrator  Diane Smith-Hoban, Journeys of the Heart Officiant Bob Pileggi, Journeys of the Heart Bride of 5 years ago Alaina Eichinger and Executive Director/Officiant Marguerite Sexton.  This was the first time that Journeys of the Heart hosted an entire table of our own and we were so pleased to welcome into our midst Vice-President for Public Safety of the University of Pennsylvania Maureen Rush, Catholic priest Frank Sacks, attorney/nurse Carolyn Coleman Abington Township Commissioner Les Benzak.   Thanks to Frank Sacks for presenting me with the beautiful orchid center piece which he won which now graces my window sill.

The evening began with an open bar and butlered hors d’ouvres on the first level .  The dinner was served on the mezzanine .  Large screens were placed throughout in order to give everyone a view of the events.   The event was sold out.

0043 300x146 The Equality Forum Dinner 2010The honorees for the evening were David Boies and Ted Olson who received the 15th annual International Role Model Award and CNN with the 8th annual International Business Leadership Award.   Boies and Olson are considered to be the top two attorneys in the country (one liberal and one conservative) and are working together to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act (Proposition 8 ) in California.  Also honored was  Tony Maddox, Executive Vice President and Managing Director, CNN International will accept the award on behalf of CNN who has done more than any other media outlet to educate the public regarding issues surrounding being gay in America.  (In June they will air a program called Gay in America.) U.S. Senator Bob Casey and Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell, served as Honorary Dinner Chairs.  (The place was crawling with politicians, all Caucasian Democrats.  At least that I could see.)

One of the highlights of the event was a public commitment ceremony during Sunday Out at the Piazza on Sunday May 2.  Journeys of the Heart has been at the forefront of the rights of gays to marry since our incorporation in 1996.  I felt more than a little frustrated that there was a huge public commitment ceremony that seemed to be headed up by only traditional clergy.  I plan to suggest to them that perhaps next year they might consider a secular commitment ceremony.  I watched the very moving video of the ceremony on the Equality Forum web site but could not hear how the clergy handled religious language.  Here’s hoping they managed it as carefully and as tenderly as Journeys of the Heart officiants would, although I somehow doubt it.
In 2011, I am hoping to have 1 ½ tables of Journeys of the Heart attendees there.  Somehow I have a feeling that none of those traditional clergy people were hosting a table for 10!  Check out the Equality Forum web site at www.equalityforum.com to view the public commitment ceremony.  It’s very well done and so worth watching.

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A ritual of your own

Wednesday, May 5th, 2010

A ritual of your own

Miki Young(1) A ritual of your own by Miki Young, non-denominational officiant

There are some times that a bride and groom want to express something so unique that a traditional ritual just won't do. And what works best, is to create a non-denominational ritual that reflects the particular message and view of the wedding couple.

As non-denominational officiants we are not bound by the standard way of creating weddings. Instead we are able to create something more secular, or something more spiritual, or even a ceremony that integrates traditions in an interfaith way.  What is important is that each ritual reflects the wedding couple and the feeling they want to have for themselves and for their guests.

Creating a unique wedding ceremony ritual starts with a clear idea of what the ritual is supposed to represent. For example, does it
represent the bride and groom coming together as unique individuals and forming a sacred marital union?  Is it being used to expand interactive guest participation?  To honor parents? Or maybe to help families of the bride and groom feel like they have come together as one extended family?

One couple wanted to have a momento of their wedding ceremony.  We worked together to create a ritual in which every guest received a small stone to place, along with their blessing for the couple, into a clear bowl at the front of the room.  During the ceremony, the bride and groom placed sand into the stone-filled bowl, indicating how their individual souls were melding together and how important their family and friends were to their lives.  It was a beautiful ceremony and a beautiful reminder in their home.

In a similar ritual, instead of stones each guest received a flower to place into vase that sat on the table in the front of the room. 

The exquisitely filled vase provided a beautiful greeting for the bride and groom when they enter, knowing that their guests have all blessed their union.  As a continuation of that ritual, those flowers can also be used to encircle the couple when they say their vows or used in a presentation to each parent when the couple honors the legacy of love they have learned from their families.

Another ritual allows the parents to participate with their new in-laws by acknowledging that theirs families are joining together.
Parents stand on either side of a bowl or vase filled with water. Each couple receives a basket of different colored petals which they
place onto the water, visually bringing together their now combined family.

Rituals help us to express complex concepts with simple visuals. They allow us to engage in ways that go beyond words to the heart of the story. And so often the beauty of a wedding ceremony shines even brighter because of the rituals that are integrated within it.

 

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