Congratulations to Hollywood’s own newly married Laura and Mike Schlagnhaufer! Today was their wedding day at Rosewood Caterers on Frankford Avenue in northeast Philadelphia.
Mike and Laura worked with me to created a beautiful and unique Journeys of the Heart ceremony which included a blessing and presentation of a St. Nicholas metal to Laura’s son, Kevin, by his new step-Dad, Mike. (Laura told me that St. Nicholas is the patron saint of boys. I never knew that but certainly agree that boys need all the protection they can possibly get!)
Mike escorted his mom to her seat before taking his place beside me. As soon as he did, all the pre-ceremony tension seemed to drain out of him. He was relaxed and smiling. Kevin came down the aisle with the flower girls and when he went to the end of the row of guys, Mike called him over to stand next to him. Kevin was helpful during the ceremony in holding the microphone for me when I had to turn the page of the book.
Laura was escorted by her dad, John. She wore a beautiful strapless gown that had just enough embellishment to look spectacular but not so much as to be gaudy. She wore a crystal tiara with a veil attached. She had her blonde hair done in soft ringlets. She looked perfectly beautiful.
Laura’s cousin, Melissa, read The Prayer of St. Francis and Mike’s godmother, Jean, read from the epistle of Paul to the Corinthians that describes the attributes of love: Love is patient, love is kind …
I created a personal love story which I read to the delight of the guests. Every love story is as unique as every couple is, but Laura and Mike are the first ones I’ve married who were introduced by one of their parents. Mike’s mom worked with Laura and really wanted them to meet. I thought it was excellent that his mom recognized a wonderful young woman for her son and that he trusted his mom enough to consent to meet her. As I said in the ceremony, how many moms get to introduce their child to such a wonderful partner and then to have it have such a happy outcome? Not many, for sure.
Mike and Laura shared a cup of wine, received the blessings of their guests, exchange the vows and rings and tenderly kissed.
The ceremony ended with this blessing:
Michael and Laura,
May God go before you on this, your wedding day
To clear a safe passage when your feet are unsteady
To uphold the bonds of love among families and friends
To keep your married love growing ever stronger with the passage of time
To strengthen and hold you when the storms of life would bruise you
And to return you, at the end of each day, to the arms of this one
Tomorrow the Schlagnhaufers are off to Las Vegas for their honeymoon. Every blessing to you, Michael, Laura and your dear son, Kevin. Be happy. Live long.
June, 2010 included a memorable wedding on a manicured horse farm in Berks County, Pennsylvania. The ground of the spacious indoor riding stable was covered with carpets; lovely sweeping white drapes created a centerpiece high above. The aroma of a clean country horse stable enhanced the ambiance!
The bride, Ali Grusha , who works in pharmaceutical sales, is an enamored and skilled rider, along with her mother; both are horse specialists. The farm included two Appaloosa and two brown quarter horses to which the bride was tightly attached.
The first view that caught my eye as I arrived at the farm for the wedding was the beautiful bride, Ali, in her wedding dress being photographed while side-saddle on her favorite Appaloosa. Both bride, Ali, and groom, Matt Jenco, were bonded to a miniature Australian Shepherd dog, Colby; they required that the horses and dog should be named in the ceremony, and so they were.
Colby, the couple’s Shepherd dog lay quietly and observantly at the feet of the bride’s mother during the ceremony until he was called to present
the rings after the vows were spoken. Colby presented and returned as directed to his designated place.
The ceremony praised the diverse interests of the couple. For example, Matt, an engineer has an interest in farm equipment, has also gone scuba diving for ship wrecks in the Atlantic Ocean.
The ceremony gave dignified expression to the couple’s commitment in the open and playful ambiance of the farm. I, as officiant, prepared and
presented a short reflection based on the couple’s love story, tracing the earliest meeting of the couple in a university public speaking class to the
bonding moment in the rolling hills of a Berks County farm.
The beautiful yard of Hollywood resident and Abington political activist, Robin Beall, was the setting for a small and intimate group that gathered for the wedding of Cai Ping Zhang and Randy Tang.
Randy called the Journeys of the Heart office just two weeks prior to discuss with Marguerite possible options for the wedding.
After discovering that they had no venue ideas and were only planning on the attendance of Randy’s parents ,his sister, her husband and their children, Marguerite arrived at the perfect solution: the small, intimate, and exquisitely lovely back yard of her friend and neighbor, Robin.
In their initial conversation Randy, who is Chinese-American, told Marguerite that Ping speaks little or no English. In addition, Ping’s parents and family are still in China and so there would be no one from her family in attendance.
Marguerite has a long-time dear Chinese friend , Bik Wan Yeung (whose American name is Mary), who was called on for translator duties. Mary had never before served as a translator and was a bit nervous but Marguerite explained that she mostly wanted Ping to feel comfortable and wanted someone who would explain to her (Ping) what Marguerite wanted her to understand. Marguerite mostly wanted Mary to provide hospitality in their native language.
The day of the wedding, a slightly overcast Wednesday, Mary arrived an hour early in order to review with Marguerite what would be her duties. Finally the wedding party arrived and both Mary and Marguerite were immediately struck by the beauty of the tiny Chinese bride, resplendent in her bright white wedding gown.
Mary went to work immediately talking to the guests, welcoming them, offering them iced tea or water while Marguerite received the marriage license paperwork. Then everyone walked about 50 yards down the block to Robin’s back yard. As each one stepped inside, they responded with “Ohhhh” or “Ahhh this is so pretty.” Someone even asked if Robin created the yard especially for weddings, it was just that perfect. The crepe myrtle was in full and colorful fuchsia.
And so the ceremony began. Marguerite had suggested that we have a video camera on hand so that Ping could send the ceremony to her family in China. In the ceremonial Words of Tribute to Parents, we mentioned Randy’s parents , Tim and Tina, who were present, along with Ping’s parents in China. Ping spoke their names in Chinese. Mary translated the words of gratitude to the parents so that the parents in China would hear, understand, and see their beautiful daughter on her wedding day.
When it came to the vows, Mary had suggested making them as simple as possible. So it was agreed that Marguerite would say the words of the vows, Mary would translate, and Ping would assent with “I do” in English. Ping said “I do” both in English and in Cantonese which Marguerite, turning to the video camera, told her parents in China that she assented.
The bride and groom were very sweet and tender with one another, offering the sweetest of kisses at the end of the ceremony and happy to oblige for any requests for kisses for photo purposes.
We totally believe that sometimes Journeys of the Heart creates truly magical moments and circumstances and the wedding of Randy and Ping certainly a case in point. Perhaps some readers will believe in “coincidence” but we believe that there is a fine line between what some call coincidence and others call “miracle.” Here is why: Our translator, Mary, grew up in a small village in China and escaped in the 1960’s. Our bride, Ping, grew up in the same town. As Mary explained it, it would be as if, in the heart of China, someone from Jenkintown would come in contact with someone from Glenside. So Mary was not only fluent in Cantonese, she was able to speak to Ping in the particular dialect of their home village. It would be like someone from south Philly or Brooklyn hearing that familiar dialect that sounds like home.
Coincidence? Miracle? You decide, dear reader. You know what I think. Where there is love, miracles abound!
By the way, the entire family is employed by King’s Garden Chinese Restaurant. It’s an excellent restaurant located at 8225 Germantown Ave., Philadelphia, PA 19118. That’s Chestnut Hill. The phone number is 215-753-0246.
Julie and Aaron have known each other for about nine years and have created a very sweet son, Elliot, who is about 1 year old. Elliot actually came with them when they met with me to plan their ceremony. He stared at the three of us quietly with these attentive eyes that made me wonder if he actually understood what we were saying.
The venue for the wedding was beautiful. Abington Art Center has several outdoor settings for weddings in the open spaces in the sculpture garden outside of the Art Center. Scattered throughout the grounds are intriguing, thought-provoking, and whimsical sculptures – and even more inside. This added greatly to the natural beauty and lovely landscaping of the place.
From the beginning, Julie and Aaron were interested in including Elliot in the ceremony. He had to be included in the reflection about their lives, gleaned from the forms they filled out for me, because they both talked about how much he means to them. He also was part of their marvelous and unusual unity ritual: They provided three beautiful plants – one with red flowers, one with white, and one with pink – in small pots. After I read about how their lives would remain independent but that their roots would begin entangling and affecting each other in beautiful ways, they then all three planted their flowers into one big clay pot. Well, Julie and Aaron planted theirs, then I got to hold Elliot while he sort of planted his. His parents did more of the planting as he seemed more interested in my beard than the planting!
In my brief time with them, I enjoyed watching how Julie and Aaron cared for each other and how they were carefully and tenderly working together as new parents.
After all three of them stood together for the final blessing, they then turned around and walked down the aisle: Julie, Aaron and Elliot – a fitting end to the ceremony that marked their new beginning.
Journeys of the Heart Officiant Irene Fulton happily merged two traditions into a grand and newsworthy event, featured in the Philadelphia Inquirer
Lauren Rocca & Chester Villanueva
June 4, 2010, in Philadelphia
By Kellie Patrick Gates
Inquirer Love Columnist
Hello there
Lauren had dated her high school boyfriend all the way through college, but they split in 2005. She was ready to try again, but there was a problem: "I didn't know how to meet people or go on a date," she said.
Inspiration came from her mother, who met her boyfriend online several years before. "I thought if she can do it, and she's technophobic, I can do it," Lauren said.
Lauren posted on Yahoo! Personals, and Yahoo quickly sent her profile to Chester as a potential match.
The pharmaceutical market research company Chester worked for then had transferred him to Philadelphia from Chicago. Chester liked his job in Philadelphia, but after two years here, he was on the brink of leaving to move back home. The group of coworkers he was transferred with had all left by then and Chester was struggling to make a new group of friends here. He felt isolated.
Still, he sent Lauren an electronic wink – a little message in the Yahoo! Personals world that let her know he was interested.
Lauren had not even been on Yahoo! for a day when she received it. His picture was cute, and his profile said he was hoping to explore Philadelphia and meet new people. "I've lived here my whole life, and I really like to show people around the city. I thought that would be really fun," she said. Still, the "online thing" felt a little weird to her. She didn't answer, but she also couldn't stop thinking about him. "I know it sounds cheesy, but I was wondering, 'What if he's The One?' " Lauren said.
The e-mail she eventually sent led to many more, and then to instant messaging and long, late-night phone calls.
About three weeks after the wink, Chester and Lauren decided to meet in person. Lauren was nervous, in part because she had let her mom, a customer service professional, cut her hair. "I literally had a mullet," Lauren said.
At 7 p.m. on a Saturday, she went to the corner of Third and Chestnut in Old City to wait for Chester. She waited, and she waited. And then it started to rain.
Chester was nervous, too. He wanted everything to be perfect, so he also got a haircut – by a professional – and gassed his car, then decided he should clean his apartment before meeting Lauren, just in case they ended up there after their date. With all the rushing, he lost track of time. He pulled up to their meeting spot 45 minutes late.
Lateness is one of Lauren's pet peeves. "I was ticked off, and standoffish," she said. But she agreed to dinner at the Continental and soon found herself having a good time. He was a fun guy, and the conversation was good, so Lauren decided to let go of any bad feelings caused by the 45-minute delay.
Dinner was so fun that Lauren and Chester went to coffee afterward. Four hours after their date started, they decided to call it a night. Confident that they had clicked, Chester asked, "Can we do this again?"
Within a week, Lauren canceled her Yahoo! membership. "They sent me my money back," she said. "I got him for free!"
How does forever sound?
Chester, now 33, stayed in Philly and is an analyst for Independence Blue Cross. Lauren, 27, is the director of alumni relations at Drexel University, a position that was making her crazy busy in April and early May of 2009.
"The whole month of April I had been working nights and weekends. Then on May 1 – the first day of alumni weekend – I had laryngitis."
May 1 was a Friday. She was up and out of the couple's Roxborough apartment at 4:30 a.m., and she wouldn't be home until late. That gave Chester plenty of time to put on a suit and pay visits to Lauren's three closest family members. He gave her mother, Rose, a box of her favorite chocolates. He presented Aunt Theresa with flowers. And Lauren's brother, Michael, got a can of the protein powder he uses. For all three, Chester had a question: Did he have their blessing to marry Lauren? Yes, yes, and yes. And from mom, a little advice: Propose when she'll least expect it.
It was 11:30 p.m. when Lauren got home, her throat a bit sore from trying to talk through her laryngitis, her disposition a bit grumpy from being too busy to eat a fabulous-looking dessert at the last event. "I got myself a bowl of ice cream," she said. She ate it, then a second bowl, on the couch. She had to get up early and do it all again the next day. "I just wanted to go to bed," she said.
But Chester walked over and sat on the coffee table. He started talking about how meeting Lauren had changed his life, and how the years with her have been the best he's ever had. Then he got down from the table, and onto one knee.
"I'm trying to yell, but no sound is coming out," Lauren said. She was determined. Before Chester even finished his speech, she croaked out "Yes! Yes!"
It was so them
The couple married in an outdoor ceremony at Glen Foerd on the Delaware. They wanted their 130 guests to feel like they were "in a different time and place," Lauren said, and an old, riverside mansion did the trick.
Lauren wore a strapless, lightly beaded dress of ivory taffeta. Chester and his groomsmen wore the traditional Filipino formal wear called a barong – an elaborately embroidered ivory shirt made of plant fibers.
Lauren was raised Catholic, and in a nod to weddings in that tradition, the couple lit a unity candle.
Minister Irene Fulton of Journeys of the Heart said a blessing. To honor Chester's family heritage, Lauren's Aunt Theresa and Chester's cousin Matt draped a veil of white tulle over the couple to symbolize them joining into one household. Chester's cousin Henry and his wife, Genny, wrapped a white cloth cord around them, in the figure eights of infinity, to symbolize a permanent union.
Also according to Filipino custom, Chester placed several silver coins into Lauren's hands, to show that he is sharing everything he has with her. Lauren then placed the coins into his palms to show that what she has is also his.
Lauren found deep meaning in the Filipino traditions. "I'm a baptized Catholic, but I can't say I practice that faith," she said. "[The Filipino customs] gave the ceremony some kind of weight, spirituality, and grounding in tradition."
The day after the wedding, Lauren and Chester took their guests – many of whom had traveled from the Philippines, Illinois and Iowa – on a trolley tour of Philadelphia, an event reminiscent of the beginning of their relationship, when Lauren showed Chester the city.
This was a surprise
Lauren's father, William, died more than a decade ago. Her brother, Michael, not quite two years younger than she, walked her down the aisle. Michael is about 6 feet tall and muscular and covered with tattoos. "He's a tough guy," Lauren said. "If you ran into him in the street, you might run the other way." But after escorting Lauren to the end of the aisle, Michael hugged his sister. He told her he loved her, and that she looked beautiful. Then he gave Chester a big hug, too. "It was at that point that I really got choked up," Lauren said.
Chester was also escorted up the aisle, by his parents, Bing and Bill.
Awestruck
After the whirlwind of the wedding, Chester and Lauren climbed into a Rolls-Royce that whisked them off to a Center City hotel. They waved to their guests, who had crowded onto the Glen Foerd patio to send them off. "Then we were in the car together, by ourselves for the first time," Lauren said. "All we could do was look at each other and say, 'Oh gosh, we're married!' "
Discretionary spending
A bargain: It really bugged Lauren that the unity candle sets she found were covered with glitter and cheesy poems – for $40. So, she got candles at a dollar store, and ribbons and vases at a craft store, and made her own for $10. She was going to do DIY stationery, too, but discovered doing so would cost her about 5 percent more than online invitations. Then Lauren remembered a small South Philly business, Sealed with a Kiss, that she used to walk past on her way home from high school. The deal they gave her was 20 percent less than the online prices.
The splurge: The food. Providing a tapas station, fillet mignon and salmon added between 10 and 15 percent to the basic package cost.
The getaway
Two weeks in Spain.
Behind the Scenes
Officiant
Irene Fulton, Journeys of the Heart, Jenkintown
Music
Ceremony: Susan Ward, Heartstrings, Doylestown;
Reception: Mike Mandato, Silver Sound Disc Jockeys, Frazer
Dress
L&H Bridal, Philadelphia
Invitations
Sealed with a Kiss, Philadelphia
Do You Have the Date?
Tell us in a short e-mail – at least six weeks before your ceremony – why we should feature your love story. Send it to weddings@phillynews.com. Unfortunately, we can't personally respond to all submissions. If your story is chosen, you will be contacted in the weeks before your wedding.
It was a hot, sunny, spectacularly beautiful day today for the wedding of Dana Levatino and Andrew Slipyan. Holly Hedge in New Hope is a gorgeous setting and with the weather cooperating, it was a joyous celebration.
Dana and Andrew have an especially interesting story. They actually had another wedding date set in the summer of 2009. However, they recognized that they had some unresolved issues to address so they took the unusually courageous step of postponing their wedding so that they could do more work on their relationship.
They recognized that working on their relationship helped them to grow up and strengthend their bond. That made today's wedding even more of a celebration.
Dana's gown was very beautiful: strapless and sophisticated. The bridesmaids wore lovely gowns the color of which I called "eggplant" but I think they said that David's Bridal called the color "lapis."
They honored their parents and families who loved and supported them through the rough times. Andrew wore the pocket watch that belonged to his late father, Phillip.
Both bride and groom were beaming as they looked into each other's eyes and took their vows before friends and family.
In honor of their Jewish heritage, the ceremony ended with the traditional breaking of the glass.
Andrew and Dana will honeymoon in Hawaii. Aloha! Have a wonderful life. I hope I have the privilege of watching it unfold.
Photos courtesy of Journeys of the Heart officiant Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer. Gabrielle is the author of The Creative Jewish Wedding Book.
When I was young, I dreamed of my wedding day. Mostly it was about loving someone so much that I wanted to share my life completely and whole-heartedly. Also, I wanted all my friends and family there to support me. I never quite completed the picture, however, as to who it would be that I would be marrying. Until I was about 19, that is. It took some time for self-acceptance, but when I got up the internal strength, I told my family: "Some day I will meet someone I love and we'll marry – and that person will be another man." Imagine my surprise when my 87 year-old grandmother said, "Yes, I saw that on Ellen" [the sitcom, not the talk show]!
It took some family members more time than others to adjust to the news, but grandmom didn't skip a beat – she just kept on loving her grandson.
These days, there are more media images of same-sex couples than ever before. It can still be challenging for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people to fully accept who they are – and for their families. But there is also much more support for LGBT and for LGBT families – both social support and legal support. 18 years ago when I came out, I could barely imagine a day when I could legally marry a partner. Now same-sex marriage is a reality in several states. As Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, "the arc of the universe is long but it bends toward justice." And I believe now, more than ever, that someday every state will honor equally the love and families that same-sex couples build.
In the meantime – we can certainly celebrate love! That's what weddings and commitment ceremonies are for – celebrating with family and friends, and committing even more deeply to the development of relationship. As an officiant for same-sex couples, I've experienced a variety of ceremonies – from one filled with operatic singing and dramatic readings, to a ceremony that had just about every traditional Jewish wedding practice we could find – and everything in between. Every relationship is unique – and so is every wedding ceremony be it gay or non-gay, traditional or creatively and distinctly different!
June is LGBT Pride Month – and if you are a same-sex couple and planning your ceremony, plan it with pride! And know that Journeys of the Heart will be honored to work with you.
Time does have a way of flying and when the wedding planning process is the focus for so long toward a much anticipated wedding day, it seems especially so! When I meet with couples for the first time to begin planning their wedding ceremony, I always talk about how quickly their wedding day might seem to fly. The response is always "Everyone tells us that!" My advice to them is this: hold the whole wedding planning process as part of the wedding itself as it is such precious time.
Every moment, every decision, every step of the way can be part of the memory-making. It is not just one day that is being created. It is a valuable process that culminates in that day. I am, of course, partial to the ceremony as that is the heart of the wedding day and it should really be the heart of the planning process as well. As an officiant with Journeys of the Heart, I work with couples to create their own personal ceremony. As they create time to choose readings, or look over ritual ideas or create their vows, or make decisions about who will be involved in the ceremony, I encourage them to consider this planning time as "part" of the ceremony. I suggest creating a 'date night' or an afternoon in the park or a quiet hour or two at home for those "parts" of the ceremony. This is time that can keep bringing them back to why they are creating this day as they move through their “to do” lists in the overall planning process. And certainly those lists are full of opportunities for creating special moments. Choosing dresses with best friends, tasting the food at the venues, working through the invitation list with family members, finding colors and flowers… all memory-makers! Couples who have intentionally held this perspective in the course of their wedding planning have told me that after their wedding day came and went, the looking back was not just to that day, but to the whole process! Whether or not couples hold any traditional religious beliefs, carefully planning the ceremony is part of the mission of Journeys of the Heart.
As hard as I try in my own life to slow down time, I'm never very successful at it. But I have learned… and have seen as couples go through their wedding planning process… that it's possible to stretch time a bit. Make something so very precious last much longer than just one day!
Serving as a non-denominational wedding officiant, I am often asked by couples with whom I am working whether I have any recommendations for wedding-related books. There are so many new titles concerning weddings being published every month, from planners to etiquette books to books with tips on green, alternative or interfaith weddings, that just browsing on amazon can be an overwhelming experience. Here on our Journeys of the Heart officiant’s blog, I will share my favorite wedding book recommendations with you.
For all of the couples I work with—whether they are planning a traditional or ultra-contemporary wedding–I suggest picking up Sheryl Paul’s The Conscious Bride before any other book.
Paul’s book, unlike so many others on the market, helps a bride and groom or bride and bride explore their wedding from the inside out. It is a book about guiding couples through the wedding planning process with a consciousness about what they are feeling about the commitment of marriage. Paul examines the expectations around weddings—both the joy and excitement as well as the very normal, yet unexpected, feelings of doubt and loneliness that can occur for both partners as they plan for their big day. The Conscious Bride, while focusing on the woman’s journey, offers questions about the wedding and marriage to come that are helpful for both bride and groom to answer (I’ve also found that lesbian couples appreciate The Conscious Bride ). Paul emphasizes that the path to creating the truly perfect day is through opening up to the engagement experience as a time for personal and spiritual growth.
It surely takes a whole lot of pressure off of everyone to realize that experiencing a range of emotions is normal for everyone going through the transition of being a single person to a married one.
The Little Meeting House in Abington Township has been restored to its former, understated Quaker splendor. The congregation of Quakers who once met here in the 1600’s were a splinter sect of Abington Quaker Meeting (still in existence just down the road). For years this little meeting house was referred to as “The Lost Meeting.”
Many years of work and much money have gone into this restoration. The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, through Representative Josh Shapiro, has been instrumental in grant money. There have also been many workers, volunteer and hired.
The Little Meeting House became a project of the Abington Art Center which oversaw every aspect of the restoration. Journeys of the Heart is a business member of the Abington Art Center, whose grounds also include Alverthorpe Manor.
The Little Meeting House will be an exquisite place for small weddings in daylight hours. It will also be perfect for baby blessings, funerals and memorial services.
Some of these pictures were taken at the official housewarming on Thursday, May 20. Others were taken when Diane Smith-Hoban, Journeys of the Heart administrator/officiant and I were given the privilege of a tour several weeks prior.
The Abington Art Center folks are very much looking forward to Journeys of the Heart celebrating all sorts of life occasions in this beautiful old setting.
Congratulations to Hollywood’s own newly married Laura and Mike Schlagnhaufer! Today was their wedding day at Rosewood Caterers on Frankford Avenue in northeast Philadelphia.
.jpeg "The Conscious Bride by Sheryl Paul")
by Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer, Wedding officiant
